habits

this morning, i found myself doing something rather strange, given that its my 3rd day at the new job. i found myself revamping and updating my resume….on my yet to be returned oldfirm laptop, in the middle of the newco bullpen. interesting, that i have already accepted the fact, based on the setbacks in the hiring process and with the first few days, that newco may not necessarily be the place for me. i’ve yet to really even do something, simply soaking up information, so I’m not sure if i’ve even given the place a chance yet….likely not. perhaps it’s the fear of failure. part of me is very excited about the potential in this job, but I suppose, another part of me feels misguided, and set up to fail. so maybe this is my subconscious protecting my psyche by preparing me for what may happen.

another strange thing i find myself doing, is checking my oldco voicemail. i wouldn’t expect to receive any calls on this line, nor would i be likely to return any calls from this voicemail. what the hell am i doing!? sure, i miss the people in the bullpen. i miss walking around the corner and chatting with janey, or bk or jwo. hell, i still daydream that anita and rosie might walk around the corner and ask me for a favour.

then again, maybe I’m just overanalysing things. maybe i’m just going through some withdrawal symptoms, and still purging myself of old habits. maybe i’m just bored because i still have no work computer, no internet, no phone, and no real job responsibility, and so I resort to opening up random files on my old computer, and calling old voicemail numbers just to pass the time.

maybe its just too early to tell.